December 31st

December 31st, 2018

Well we did it. 2018 is finally at a close. I've thought a lot about how this year played out, and instead of viewing it as "the worst year ever." I've come to see it as a year full of growth. 2018 was hard. Probably my hardest year I've ever experienced. With recovering from the grief of Miscarrying Peyton at the end of 2017 to the joy of expecting Banks. Only to find out that my sweet little boy would live in Heaven. Danny's pharmacy closed and we were jobless for nearly six weeks. I didn't have any photoshoots lined up because I was supposed to be on maternity leave. Add that in with the unexpected hospital and funeral costs. Danny ended up getting a full time position at Jolley's pharmacy (where he interned) with a dream schedule, only to lose Scout for nearly 48 hours while we were heading back from St George. We found Scout and brought her home only to realize she had developed pretty severe separation anxiety. The next month brought Norovirus to our house - thankfully and by some miracle, Jones never got it. A few weeks later we found out we were expecting! Danny and I were able to take Tommy to Disneyland with us and meet up with 4 of Danny's siblings. Upon returning it was discovered that I had kidney stones and passed three of them! We hit a rough patch regarding family members and hurt feelings and I ended the year puking my guts out just days before 2019. Through all the ups and downs this year has given us I have never felt a stronger connection to my family and my God. Without them this year really would've been the "worst year ever," but because of them we were able to make it through. We relied on our faith and our family and accepted what we cannot change and were able to move past it. Grief still strikes and Christmas was hard without my baby, but I felt him. I feel him now throughout this pregnancy. He reassures me this one will be different. The prophet challenged us women to read the Book of Mormon in 12 weeks and today I finished. It has helped strengthen my testimony and provide comfort. Early on when I was reading in Jarom I came across something that has stayed with me the entire time I read. In summary, he says that it is hard work to write down the histories upon the plates, and that whatever was written down was worth the trouble and time. I am so excited for 2019 and the hope it brings. 

2018's word may have been "Hard," but 2019 will be "Hope."